10 Ways to Tell You’re Not Cut Out for Parenthood

Posted by admin in Uncategorized Aug 16th, 2010

Parents in a fight

People say children are the greatest gifts in life. If you’re not a parent, you may wonder what that statement truly means or if that really applies to your life. Sure, procreating is our evolutionary purpose, but let’s be honest, not everyone is cut out to be a parent. If you aren’t ready to take on the responsibilities, the stress, the sacrifices or those unexpected calls from the principal, you may not be mother or father material now or ever. Here are 10 ways to tell you’re not cut out for parenthood:

If you struggle to make ends meet
Depending on your income and expenses, the average cost of raising a child today is nearly a quarter of a million dollars and more if he/she goes to college. Bottom line: Children are expensive. If you are living paycheck to paycheck and still can’t get ahead, you may not be cut out for parenthood yet. Being financially stable, and living within your means before having kids, will help prepare you for the future expenses of raising a family.
If you aren’t in a stable and happy marriage/relationship
If you are struggling to get along with your significant other or can’t see eye-to-eye on important decisions, you may not be cut out for parenthood. Bringing a baby into an unhappy home isn’t going to solve these problems either. Marriage/relationship counseling can help couples work through their issues, strengthen their relationship and better prepare for a family one day.
If you aren’t willing to sacrifice your needs and wants
If you aren’t willing to give up your weekly happy hours, vacations, shopping sprees and other pre-parent outings, to take care of your child, you may not be cut out for parenthood. Being a parent is a full-time job and your child’s needs will always come before your own. Parents will naturally have to change their spending habits and lifestyle choices to accommodate the needs of their kids.
If you have substance abuse problems
If you struggle with substance abuse, you are not cut out for parenthood. You cannot safely raise a child when you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol, nor will you be setting a good example for how to be a responsible adult. There is simply no way you can fulfill all of the necessary duties of parenthood if you aren’t completely sober.
If your are married to your job
Kudos to those who are career-driven and take pride in their work, but being a parent may force you to put your job on the back burner sometimes. If work is No. 1 in your life and you plan on keeping it that way, you may not be cut out for parenthood. Plenty of parents work full-time, but they have to work that much harder to be there for their children. So, if you aren’t up for this sacrifice or challenge, you might want to wait on kids.
If you or your partner is unsure about having kids
When considering having a child, couples need to be onboard together. If you are unsure about having a child or your partner is hesitant, you have a lot of discussing to do before taking on this responsibility. Parents need to be on the same page and if one person is against the idea, you may not be cut out for parenthood.
If you aren’t a patient person
Patience is key in all phases of life, especially parenting. From infancy to adulthood, kids will test your patience every day. If you are inpatient, easily irritated and not willing to adapt or change your ways, you may not be cut out for parenthood.
If you are depressed or moody
If you are clinically depressed or moody before having children, your condition may only worsen as a parent. Postpartum depression is also a concern for parents, who feel sadness, fatigue, anxiety and irritability after the birth of their child. Children of depressed parents may face negative effects, such as behavioral, social and learning problems, as well as becoming depressed themselves. If you find that your depression or mood interferes with your health and happiness, you may not be ready to take on the responsibilities and stress that comes with parenting.
If you can’t get by with little to no sleep
Children will keep you up late at night and wake you up early. For most parents, this takes some getting used to, but they adapt over time. If you are not ok with getting less than eight hours of sleep, or cannot function properly on little sleep, you may not be cut out for parenthood.
If you have little to no experience with children of different ages
If you have little to no experience with kids of different ages, you may need to reconsider having a child right away. It’s important that you spend some time interacting and watching over kids before having your own. Doing so will open up your eyes to parenting, and help you decide if you actually enjoy children and are cut out for parenthood.