10 Unintentionally Hilarious Christian Music Videos

Posted by admin in Uncategorized Aug 29th, 2010

Unintentionally Hilarious Christian Music Videos

Christian music isn’t just trying to tell a story, it’s trying to make a theological argument. Unfortunately, sometimes that means that too much energy is spent making a moral case while not enough energy goes into making sure that the song, and especially the accompanying music video, is up to snuff. I’m sure that the artists, directors, writers, and everyone involved in the creation of these videos had nothing but the best intentions, but that doesn’t keep them from being dreadful, head-scratching, and hilarious in all the ways they were never intended to be.

“666,” DeGarmo & Key: DeGarmo & Key made history by being the first Christian group to get a video on MTV. Unfortunately, that video was “666,” which seemed to be about Satan will chase people through computers and suck their souls dry via floppy disks. The network, however, pulled the video for violent content when the original cut showed a woman being engulfed by flames. The clip is about as far form controversial as you can get, though, unless you count crappy mid-’80s visual effects as controversial.

“Pray,” MC Hammer: In addition to shamelessly sampling “When Doves Cry,” this MC Hammer video makes religion look like a Pepsi commercial. His sentiment — “We’ve got to pray just to make it today” — is a noble one, but how that translates into dancing next to a fountain while wearing hot green parachute pants is anyone’s guess.

“The Renewed Mind Is the Key to the Christ in Me,” The Way: I’m mostly sure that’s the right title; some of these videos, despite their infamy, don’t have much info to go on. Still, this epically awful video features some amazing dancing and lyrics. And by “amazing,” I mean, “This is one of the funniest things you will ever see.”

“Shine,” Final Placement: This video is so hilariously awful that it spawned a viral craze earlier this year, with the original video and its growing number of tributes now housed at one site. Final Placement is a group of high schoolers who play, well, like high schoolers, but it’s the low production values of the video that make it truly special. Here’s hoping these kids live this one down.

“Shine” by “Final Placement” (Original Video) from F.P. Shine on Vimeo.

“Life,” The Brothers: There are no words:

“Dogs of Glory,” Jim Steager: I am willing to admit that this video goes pretty quickly past “unintentionally hilarious” and winds up in “gut-churning terror,” but you have to laugh at it or it’s just too scary to watch.

“Such Great Heights,” Confide: Don’t let the dreamy opening fool you: This isn’t The Postal Service’s “Such Great Heights,” but an insanely angry thrash-metal version from a Christian group called Confide. The moment the rock kicks in is jarring; everything after that is pure comedy, as the band members jump about for no reason.

Confide “Such Great Heights” from Daniel Chesnut on Vimeo.

“Honestly,” Stryper: Christian glam metal: What could go wrong? As it turns out, plenty. Stryper was the Christian answer to the musical genre that never should have been, and their videos are cut from the same cheesy cloth as their secular late-’80s brethren. The clip for “Honestly” is so over the top that it’s impossible to take it seriously, which the band members clearly do.

“Jesus Christ Is Coming,” Jim Blackmon: This one’s so bad it almost takes the title, but instead it winds up a close second. Shot for what looks like $14 including postproduction costs, Jim Blackmon’s “Jesus Christ Is Coming” loses any claim to seriousness somewhere between the confused blonde aimlessly banging a tambourine on her hand and a long-haired guy with red face paint that’s the least intimidating Satan ever filmed. You can’t not laugh.

“Jesus Is My Friend,” Sonseed: This one has it all: bad ska-ish boogie, awful lyrics, an ugly melody, and an utter lack of awareness about how bad it all looks together. The members of Sonseed, which looks vaguely spiritual but is honestly a nonsense word, outdid everyone else with this performance of “Jesus Is My Friend.” One look and you’ll be changed forever, and not in a good way.